picture pages picture pages

Movie: Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Quote: Brain, I was thinking. I don't think I really want to be an elf.
Really? What do you want to be?
A dentist.
You've seen too many Christmas specials Pinky.

So I decided to post a picture of myself and the boy. My friend Hawke posted her face on the net, so I guess I can too. This is actually a picture that I nabbed from the Emily's Toybox web page.

The reason I chose this pic was because of how much fun we were all having while it was being taken. On Christmas night the boy and I went to see Emily's Toybox. A few of my friends came along and so did some of the boy's along with his brother. The other great thing about this picture is that it's the only picture I have of me and the boy together. At least with him looking at the camera. He hates to have his picture taken so he always looks away from the camera and being that he was a wee bit drunk he didn't care that the singer of the band was taking his picture. Oh, and to explain why some of us are giving the finger... well it's a little bit of a tradition for the audience to give the band the finger while they are taking pictures. I cropped this pic to cut out the people I didn't know, but if you could see the whole thing almost everyone in the audience is doing it. And just in case you couldn't guess... I'm the blondie in front wearing black with the boy right next to me giving a double salute.

slumber - nap - snooze - doze - sleep

Movie: Lord of the Rings, Return of the King
Word of the Day: Sloth: Aversion to work or exertion; laziness; indolence.

I did absolutely nothing today. And boy did it feel good. I literally barely got out of bed today. Only to eat and... well... you know. I watched a few movies, actually slept through most of them, while the boy slept off his hangover. (he swears his headache was just from his neck and back being sore... sure)
Ahhhh... life is good

Greatest Gift

Dawn is slowly breaking
Our friends have all gone home
You and I are waiting
For Santa Claus to come
There's a present by the tree
Stockings on the wall
Knowing you're in love with me
Is the greatest gift of all

The fire is slowly fading
Chill is in the air
All the gifts are waiting
For children everywhere
Through the window, I can see
Snow begin to fall
Knowing you're in love with me
Is the greatest gift of all

Just before I go to sleep
I hear a church bell ring
Merry Christmas, everyone
Is the song it sings
So I say a silent prayer
For creatures great and small
Peace on earth, goodwill to man
Is the greatest gift of all

Peace on earth, goodwill to man
Is the greatest gift of all

Merry Christmas All!

Schools out!

Song: Walking After Midnight - Patsy Cline
Quote: Every time I hook up with you, I get shot. Last time I got shot in the ass. I'm in mourning for my ass! - Izzy,
You're not exactly catching me at my best.
I'm sure I am. - Izzy and Evie, the Mummy Returns

Weeeeooooh! Finals are over! I'll admit, I couldn't stay away from my computer for a week like I said that I would. Actually I have been on it everyday just checking my emails and reading the few blogs that I read. I also played a few games of mahjongg on the new CD ROM that me mum got me. Other than that, I haven't done much at all. Just watched a few movies with the boy and slept.
But it still feels as though I haven't gotten enough sleep or watched enough movies. Think I'll go take a nap.

Countdown...

Quote: I don't know half of you, half as well as I should like and I like less then half of you, half as well as you deserve. - Bilbo Baggins, Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring

Three down, one to go. I presented on final project in class today and I have two other classes work completely finished. Those two presentations will be tomorrow. Then I only have my flash animation to get done. So much work to do in so little time. Can't wait till Thursday. I have most of my Christmas shopping as well, but I still have a few people to buy for.

Ahh well, back to work...

Miles and miles

Quote: The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
- Stopping by woods on a Snowy Evening, Robert Frost

Ugh... Time time time... where in the hell does it go? I. of course, have so much to do and here I sit blogging. Good grief Charlie Brown. I can't wait until Thursday at 2 pm. Ha Ha! Then I will be done. (at least until January) Then I can concentrate on Christmas. Yeash

brain mutterings

Movie: Mulan
Quote: Get your ass out of my aura. You're fucking up my karma.

I have discovered that Pepsi out of a can tastes much better than Pepsi out of a bottle.

And that Cherry Coke is a decent substitution for Pepsi.

I now know what fun it is to have a back windshield made out of glass and not plastic.

I also know how much fun it is to play with the back windshield wiper and defroster.

Fog lights rock!

Clean sheets are heaven.

Messy floors are hard to navigate in the dark.

Men's pajama bottoms are so comfortable. I wish I could wear them everywhere.

There are some really great children's books out there. IE: Diary of a Worm

Do you think Santa Clause has been traveling by floo powder all this time?

Ok... I feel rather brain dead. Ganna go to sleep now.

Night night

under construction

I've noticed, as have a few others, that my old blogs are filled with gobbledygook. This is because I used to type my blogs in Word and cut and paste them into blogger. It would seem that this new template does not like word's apostrophes along with some other symbols. I have started to re-edit my old blogs, but this will take some time. So please excuse the mess for a while.

Ch-ch-changes

As you can see, things have changed a wee bit around here. The place is still under construction… watch your step.

beep! beep!

Song: Salisbury Hill - Peter Gabriel
Quote: "My ancestors sent a little lizard to help me?"
"Hey! Dragon! Dragon! I don't do that tongue thing." - Mulan


Ta Da... So here is the picture of the new-ish jeep! Wheeeeee! I LOVE it. The boy put in a new sound system and speakers for me, so it has tuneage. I couldn't live without a CD player in it, so the first place I went after picking up the car was Best Buy for a new head unit.

And I figured I would throw in a new picture of my tracker. It appears to be enjoying its new life as a four wheeling vehicle. The boy took it out on Saturday with a friend of his who also owns a tracker. I couldn't go, had to work. But the boy had fun and got my tracker all muddy. Also got it stuck and had to rip the muffler off. My muffler is now sitting in the woods of Pennsylvania somewhere. The boy told me that he is planning another four wheeling expedition sometime in January so I should plan to take the day off to go with him.

In other news... I burnt my finger at work today. Boiling oil splashed on it. It hurt, which is good; means it's a first degree burn, not second or third. Then twenty minutes later on the same hand, I took a chunk of flesh out of my thumb. Not a good day for my hands.

Gee, guess what? I'm going to go do homework!

creation station

Song: I believe in Santa Clause - Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton
Quote: I haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister.

Alright, so I forgot to take pictures of my new car. I'm sorry; I was too busy driving it. By the time I realized I hadn't taken pictures, it was too dark outside to take any. So in an attempt to make up for my lack of car pictures, I have decided to take my sister Hawke's (aka Mouse) idea and take a picture of my blogging station (aka my desk).

On the wall is a celtic scarf. The tower is on the desk to make it easy for me to add and remove my portable hard drive easily. (The only port I can use for it is on the back.) On top of the tower are a few of the dragon statues that I have collected, along with Starscream and Snarf . (Transformer and Thundercat respectively). There is a pterodactyl (hey Hawke, ever hear of origami?) sitting on top of the computer screen and a lizard hanging out on the lamp shade. There are more dinosaur toys next to the numerous pencil holders. And the other close up contains the notebooks of all of these wonderful quotes that I have collected, along with the SBO - secret birthday object that Hawke made me for my birthday (the hat). And of course a really BIG bottle of Advil, a necessity these past few weeks of school.

And no, my desk is not normally this clean... my mother would have died of embarrassment if she knew I had posted a picture of my desk looking as messy as it usually does.

...creative witty title here....

Book: Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus! – Mo Willems
Song: Killing Me Softly - Lauren Hill
Quote: "I'm not enjoying this."
"Well shelve them correctly and we can finish."
"I don't get your crazy system."
"My system? It's called the alphabet."
"Huh, would you look at that." - Xander and Giles, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

So, I didn't get my car today. I have to wait until tomorrow. I have to see if I have good enough credit to get a loan. It shouldn't be a problem, I've had a car loan before and I never missed a payment. Hopefully I can get a good rate.

Hmmm... Today was really boring. Class seemed to take forever and so did work. Now all I want to do is curl up in bed and watch television, but I have to do homework again.

It's a really bad week for feelings of procrastination, but I can't help it, I just don't want to do any more work. I'm sure next week I'll feel differently, but I work better under pressure. Not

Beep! Beep!

Song: Grey Street - Dave Matthews band
Quote: Nothing ever happens by chance. Everything happens for a reason. Your brain may not know the reason. Your brain may never figure it out. But your heart knows. Your heart always knows. - Brothers in Arms, Margaret Weis and Don Perrin

I'm buying a jeep tomorrow. It's a 1999 Wrangler. Not too bad of a price, and it's automatic. - No worries about driving it. The boy will still be teaching me how to drive stick so that when I pay this one off I can upgrade to a manual jeep. But for now this one will serve its purpose. It has four wheel drive and a hard top and it's not white!! I hate white cars. Yes I know my last car was white and that was the only thing I did not like about it. The last two cars and two trucks that my family has owned were white. Of course this all still hinges on getting credit approval for the loan. Keep fingers crossed.

Keeper of the Stars

I realized today while car hunting with the boy that six months ago today(May 29) was the day I met him. We met in a bar (we both swore we would never date anyone we met at a bar), and we went for our first "date" the next night. It was a three hour motorcycle ride, with me on the back of the bike holding onto him. I've been holding on ever since.

THE KEEPER OF THE STARS (Tracy Byrd)
It was no accident me finding you
Someone had a hand in it
Long before we ever knew
Now I just can't believe you're in my life
Heaven's smiling down on me
As I look at you tonight
I tip my hat to the keeper of the stars
He sure knew what he was doing
When he joined these two hearts
I hold everything
When I hold you in my arms
I've got all I'll ever need
Thanks to the keeper of the stars

bad jokes and homework

Song: Sail Those Same Oceans - 30 Odd Foot of Grunts
Quote: An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scot walk into a grimy little bar and order a beer apiece. Each finds a fly in the beer. The Englishman grimaces in disgust and pushes the beer away. The Irishman shrugs, flicks the fly out of the beer with his finger and drinks. The Scot scowls ferociously, picks the fly up by the wings and shakes it violently, shouting: "Spit it owt, ye wee bahsturd!"

So I went Kareoke-ing with the boy and his parents on Saturday night. He loves to do it and so does his mother. His father and I just sat there and listened. Actually I sat at the table and sang and the boy kept telling me that I should go up and sing. Ummm... NO. I can dance in front of people and act like a real goofball, but if I have to sing, all of a sudden my vocal cords clamp up and not a sound comes out. But it was a fun night. The boy sang "She Thinks My Tractors Sexy" a song that I really don't like, but he has a really good voice, so it sounded good. He also sang "Watermelon Crawl", his mother sang "Country Roads" and "Leaving On a Jet Plane".

I got up early to do more homework, because the four hours I spent on it last night were no where near enough. The only problem is that I'm not a morning person, so getting motivated enough to do this early in the morning is really hard for me.

Guess I'll go get dressed and go over to the boys house for a while. Then I'll come home and do more homework. Yippie.

sleepless nights

Quote: Drown out my dreams. Keep me from remembering whatever wants me to remember it. - The Last Unicorn

I'm not really a person to stay down for a long time. Normally I can kick a funk in a few days. But everything that has happened this week has strained my nerves. Besides the ongoing problems with my father, my mother seems like she still thinks I'm 15. I know she loves me and is just worried about me, but sometimes it's enough to drive a person batty. She and I had a huge fight last night and it always disturbs me when she and I fight. She and I are both stressed about the situation with my father and this accident has not helped any. She never thought I was a good driver to begin with and this accident is just more fuel for the fire. Sometimes it feels like I'm suffocating on her worries. She seems to think that my car buying decision is mostly the boy telling me what I should get. She doesn't want me to get stick shift, and they boy says that an automatic jeep is junk. Now the boy knows his cars and he's willing to teach me to drive stick. So if I buy a manual jeep my mother thinks I've let the boy take over my brain. And if I buy an automatic jeep the boy thinks I'm an idiot for throwing money away on a car that "will be broken in 4 years". All I want is a damn jeep that I can drive and afford. I really don't need all of this stress right now with finals coming up soon. Too much homework and too much stress. Makes a girl want to pull her hair out.

clutch... shift... brake... GO!

Song: Some Girls Do - Sawyer Brown
Quote: But my dreams, they aren't as empty, as my conscience seems to be... - Behind Blue Eyes, The Who

Happy Turkey Day everyone.
I'm damn tired. Last night the boy and I went to see Emily's Toybox. We had a great time, but we didn't go to sleep until probably 4 am. Then he gets me out of bed at 9 to start to teach me to drive stick. I never really learned how; I've had three people try to teach me. But he took me out anyway and taught me in a parking lot and then took me on some back roads. He said I did really well, but it's a lot more to remember than just driving an automatic. Oh the reason for this last minute lesson is because I found a used jeep that I can afford. But it's stick shift. It's in amazing condition, kinda old - 92, but the boy looked under the hood and under the vehicle and didn't see anything wrong with it. I wasn't able to test drive it, cause we were looking at 9 at night. I REALLY want this car, but I really need to learn stick.
My mother says I should just buy another automatic. The boy says automatic jeeps are crap. I think I really just want my car.

Bad day again...

Song: Make me Believe - Godsmack
Quote: Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. - JC Watts

I had a piss poor day. My stomach is in knots about everything that has happened lately. Where am I going to get the money for a new vehicle? I really don't know, I could afford something really cheap, but I don't want cheap, I want a jeep. (beep beep). I have doctor bills coming, I have tuition; all kinds of wonderful things that need money.
My father still is not talking to me. (long and complicated story) He hasn't spoken to me since June. You would think the fact that I could have died on Saturday would have at least gotten him to ask me if I was ok. But no, not a word. He will ask my mother, but not me. My brother has decided to pick today to pick on every word that I said. And last but certainly not least, Hawke was in a car accident today. She is fine and so is her son, but now she's in the same boat I am in, but with less money than I have.
Thank the stars for the boy.

rolling

Quotes: Luck, often enough will save a man if his courage hold. - 13th Warrior
Still alive? - The Gods must have a sense of humor. - The Gods must love you. - Gladiator

I rolled my car on Saturday. I was driving to the boy's house when I lost control of the car and went backwards up an embankment and then rolled the car back down it. My car landed on its tires and I was able to drive it back up the road to a spot where I could safely pull off the road. I then called the boy, who, along with his parents came and got me and my car and took me back to their house. Amazingly, I don't have a scratch on me. I only have a bruise on my shoulder from where the seatbelt dug into it. I managed to dent every panel of the car except for the three doors. I didn't break any windows, except the plastic that was on the soft top. Somehow both of my side view mirrors managed to survive as well. The grill was not missing after the accident, however in order to fix the headlight that was smashed the boy had to take it off. Once he got the grill off, it decided that it did not want to fit back on. So now my happy little car looks very sad and decrepit. It is also a lot tougher than most people gave it credit for. It is still drivable, but it is doubtful that it will pass inspection.
But like the boy said "It's just a car, what's important is that you are ok."

froud in 3d

Song: Will the Wolf Survive – Waylon Jennings
Quote: I didn’t fall in love with you because of sex. I liked you from the beginning. The fact that the sex is so good is just a bonus.

Hmmm… called off from work this morning. Today was my short day, only five hours, and then I have class. I have holiday hours coming next week so I figured today would be a good day to call off. The amount of work that I have to do in the next few weeks is frightening. So, I let myself sleep in a little (I couldn’t resist) and I got up and worked for three hours until I had to leave for class. After class I went to diner with some friends and now here I am again working on homework.
::::: an hour later :::::
Ok, I now have the beginnings of a Brian Froud goblin modeled in 3D. Actually it looks a little like a motorcycle tank with a water spout attached to it. But give me time. (time? What is that?)
Ugh. My eyes are crossing. Time for bed.

return to the original jedi

Song: She Talks To Angels – The Black Crows
Quote: Remember me Jen. We may meet in another life, but not again in this one. – urSu the Master of the urRu, The Dark Crystal

GRRRR! I Say. GRRRR! Now he’s gone and done it. This is the last straw! George Lucas has gone and changed Return of the Jedi. AGAIN! (I just noticed this now because I've fallen asleep evertime I've watched it until yesterday) I got over the other changes in the other movies, heck I even liked some of them. (Gredo shooting first was a really hard one to accept, I’m still working on it.) But now he’s gone and stuck Hayden Christensen at the end of Jedi. C’mon. was this really necessary? Couldn’t he have released the original versions on DVD too? I would have bought both versions. Think of all the money he could have made, because there are tons of idiots out there like me who would have bought both.

In other DVD news, I just got Jim Henson’s The Storyteller Greek Myths. I have the original Storyteller DVD. I remember the series from when it was on TV many moons ago, but I don’t think I ever saw the greek myths.

Woo Hoo. I have finally stepped into the digital world. Digital camera world that is. This is the first camera I’ve ever bought. Funny thing is, nobody wants their damn picture taken. So I ended up taking a pic of the boy’s dog.

Time to do more homework.

night calls

Song: Somebody Turn That Radio On – Ronnie Milsap
Quote: “Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy” - Finesse Mitchell.

At 2:45 in the morning the boy called me and asked if I wanted to go to Cabelas. Of course being that I was awakened from a sound sleep, I was unaware of the time. Actually it took me a while to figure out the noise that I was hearing was my cell phone ringing. I can imagine what I sounded like considering I had just gone to bed about two hours earlier. I seem to recall him laughing at me though. When I hung up I reset my alarm for an earlier time and went back to sleep. Unfortunately resetting an alarm when you’re half asleep is not a good idea. I actually ended up resetting the alarm for the pm, instead of the am. Luckily I woke up only twenty minutes later than I had wanted to get up. So, I rushed out the door; amazingly I remembered everything I needed for the day. Got to the boys house and we headed off to Cabelas. He works in a freezer so he wanted battery powered heated socks and gloves. He found the socks, but not the gloves. He also bought a battery powered vest.

He had already eaten, but I was hungry so I had breakfast in the restaurant that they have in the store. Not bad. Eggs were a little watery (they were keeping everything warm by steam), but otherwise everything tasted good. After I was done eating we headed back to his house and not long after we got back, I went to class and then to work.
Now here I sit, kinda doing my homework. I’m so damn tired.

While reading some blogs the other day I found an entry on a blog called Geek Pride that was interesting to me. It was just a list of the 20 things this person wanted to do before he died. I thought it was a great idea… I don’t know if I have 20 things for this list, but I know there are a few things I would like to do.

1. Go to Ireland
2. Meet Brian Froud and have a long discussion about everything and anything
3. Learn to drive a motorcycle
4. Travel across the US in Volkswagen Bus (or maybe something more comfortable)
5. Own my own home; with at least two bathrooms and a room for a library
6. Have a dog and cat; and not the allergies
7. Learn how to play guitar
8. Learn a martial art
9. Get my PHD

Hmmm… can’t really think of anything else right now. Maybe I’ll add more later.
Now I really should get back to my homework. Yippie.

To Get Me To You

And if I could I wouldn't change a thing

Wouldn't change a thing baby

Because your love was waiting there for me

Waiting there for me baby

And I don't regret the rain
Or the nights I felt the pain
Or the tears I had to cry
Some of those times along the way
Every road I had to take
Every time my heart would break
It was just something that I had to get through
To get me to you
To get me to you

Banishing Old Ghosts

Movie: Love Actually
Quote: My life was lonely, broken and blue. Then I found love when I found you. - I found love (when I found you), Kenny Wayne Sheppard

He doesn't deserve as much thought as I've been giving him lately. I've been thinking about him a lot lately, and then on Saturday something happened. I thought about not even writing about this incident, but it was an event in my life and that's what this blog is all about. So here we go.

On Saturday the boy and I went to a benefit that his friends' band was playing at. We were hanging around afterwards helping to clean up their gear. I was outside when my phone rang for the fifth time. It was one of my friends. She was at a poker tournament and she said to me: "Here, somebody wants to talk to you." As soon as I heard his voice I knew who it was. The story of him and I is too long and too complicated to go into. My friend didn't know how badly he had hurt me, and I don't think he even knew how bad he had hurt me. As soon as I knew who it was, I wanted to hang up; I didn't though. I remained calm and talked to him. I don't remember exactly how the conversation went (which is odd for me, I can usually remember most conversations verbatim) but at some point he asked me what I was doing that night and I told him I was out with my boyfriend. I could hear the shock in his voice when he said "boyfriend?" I said "yes, boyfriend, somebody I know didn't want the position, so I had to find someone else" He knew I was talking about him. Score one point for me. We talked a wee bit more and then hung up. I was so shook up that I started to cry. I walked away from the building to try to calm myself. At that very moment the boy came walking out and saw how upset I was. I told him how I had just gotten a phone call from someone that I had never wanted to hear from again and said that "he" had just shook me up a little. I think the boy figured out who I was talking about. I had already told him about this other guy and what a fool he'd made me feel like, but I don't think that the boy had realized just how much this other guy had hurt me. Actually as far as I know, only Hawke and my mother knew how hurt I'd been. After I told the boy what had happened, he put his arms around me and asked if I was ok. I looked up into his face and said "I will be" and then I kissed him. And you know what? I really do think I am ok. I had always said that I wanted nothing to do with the other guy, but the way things ended with him, I was never really sure about how I felt or how I would feel if I ran into him. I know now after talking to him, that I really don't want to be bothered by him at all. I will always have those memories, but that is all they will be, memories. I have a wonderful man in my life now. Someone who loves me, and isn't afraid to tell me that he loves me. He loves my strength, and my independence (which I believe were some of the other guy's issues). There was absolutely nothing complicated about falling in love with him. It was the easiest and most natural thing I've ever done. And probably the best thing I've ever done too.

Let it... rain?

Song: Highwayman – the Highwaymen
Quote: I looked at the face that was at once so familiar to me that I knew every curve and line, and yet, I was still surprised sometimes to look at him and realize that he was mine. That this was my sweetie. As if he was too good to be real, and I kept expecting him not to be there. – Incubus Dreams, Laurell K. Hamilton


Greetings from the North Pole!
Well, maybe not. But it sure is cold outside. And rainy. I was just at a friend’s house and we were watching the movie Elf. This is not my usual type of movie, but I saw it last year when it came out and actually enjoyed it.

Cripes, I don’t have to be doing homework tonight, but here I am on my computer. I think this is an addiction. I really do.

Breakthrough!
My animation for my 3D class is almost done and I love how it’s turning out. It’s less than 30 seconds long and it ONLY took me about eleven hours to make it. The great thing is that I’m finally starting to enjoy working with the program. I was a little worried there for a while. Plus, I now know that I can create the backgrounds for my Flash animation in 3DS and render them out to Flash. So that will make my life easier too.
All right. I’m tired and I want to read a few chapters before I go to bed.

Night.

bad jokes, homework and a good-bye

Song: Bionic – Emily’s Toybox
Movie: The Incredibles
Quote: (tie)
1. Did you hear that Willy Nelson got hit by a car? He was playing on the road again.
2. If there's one thing I've learned, it's never be the first one to stick your hand in a viscous material. – Friar, Van Helsing

I have so much homework to do this week. I know what a hard time I have getting my school work done, and I am constantly astounded and amazed at all of the “returning students”. These people have full time jobs and raise children. How in the world do they do it? (Of course they probably aren’t blogging while they should be doing homework.)

I got up this morning, my only day off, to do homework while the boy slept. I worked for about four hours and then headed out to wake up the boy so that we could go to the movies. We saw the Incredibles. It was… well… incredible. Te he – couldn’t resist. No, really, it was really good and funny. However the one thing that I’ve noticed ever since I started taking all of these 3D animation classes, is that all I do is watch movies and think “wow, look at that texture mapping” or “I wonder if they used a flat plane and a bump map to do that”. Definitely not what I used to think about when I watched movies.

After the movie we went back to his house and fell asleep watching Van Helsing. Not the first time I’ve seen it, but what a disappointment that movie was. I was so excited to see it and it pretty much sucked. I don’t mind campy movies, but I do mind it when the campyness is unintentional. And the special effects… oy.

At 9 we woke up and he went to work. And now here I am again at my computer. I’m scanning pictures for my next homework assignment. It’s something I can do and blog at the same time. I have Tuesday and Wednesday’s homework done but Thursday and Friday’s homework is going to be a bitch. I’m going to finish scanning these things and go to bed. I know I’ll regret it tomorrow, but I’ve already done about 6 hours of work today and about 3 last night.

On a sad note, at least to me, the blog Where the Wild Thoughts Are, is no more. I was truly saddened to see this blog go; it was one of my favorites to read. To the author: May the force be with you.

It's not a tumor!

Song: Nobody Falls Like a Fool – Earl Thomas Conely
Movie: Saw
Quote: So eleven hundred men went in the water. 316 men came out. The sharks took the rest, June the 29th 1945. – Jaws

Today’s quote was inspired by the blog Where the Wild Thoughts Are. The title from the blog was ‘ganna need a bigger boat’ and it made me think of all the great lines from the movie Jaws. I.E. “It’s only an island if you look at it from the water.”

Went to the doctor on Monday, had my tumor removed. It didn’t hurt of course; the Doc numbed the area before he started. But even though there was no pain, it was still really freaky because I felt everything he did. I knew when he cut me, when he (gulp) scraped the crap out, and when he stitched me up. Can I just say: ichy. Oh and speaking of ichy, I saw it… I didn’t mean to, but they had to send the tumor to be biopsied, just to make sure, and they had put it into a little jar thing. I didn’t want to see it, but they had set it on top of my file and I looked before I realized what I was looking at. That was a big yuck. But, anyway, now I have three stitches on the top of my head. At least until Wednesday. I have two other tiny tumors on me head, and I think I’m going to get them both removed before they get any bigger.

Can I just say, the trip to the doctor notwithstanding, I had a wonderful week. I didn’t do anything amazing or out of the ordinary, but it was a wonderful week. The boy came back from vacation and we spent Monday afternoon together. We saw the movie “Saw”. It was so good. I didn’t think it was very bloody-gory but the implied gore was there and just as creepy. And the plot… I don’t see how anybody could guess the ending. I repeat: SO GOOD. Then on Thursday night (7 pm ish) while driving around, killing time, before we went to the bar, we ended up parked in the woods. Honestly we didn’t do anything but fall asleep in each others arms. Now, it’s a little hard to cuddle in the cab of a truck but after a little bit of configuring, we ended up with me sitting so my back was to the passenger door and head resting on the seat, with my legs stretched out along the seat. The boy laid on top of me with my legs wrapped around him, my arms around him and his head on my chest. Now as I re-read what I just typed, that doesn’t sound very comfortable for either of us, but believe me, it was. It was so different from when we sleep together because he’s so much bigger than I am and normally it’s him that is holding me. He was sleeping soundly and I was just dozing in and out, but I could have stayed like that for a very long time. The best part was when he was half asleep and snuggled down into me and whispered I love you.
Oy when did I turn into such a hopeless romantic?

Animal farts... er... facts

Song: Far Behind – Candlebox
Quote: An angel does not stop being an angel merely because they fall from grace; their wings are not so easily taken. – Incubus Dreams, Laurell K Hamilton

I have discovered Mahjong. What a wonderful time waster this is. A girl who sits next to me in one of my classes was playing it on the computer and being that I was so bored in class I decided to give it a try. Now I’m addicted. I even borrowed on of my mom’s game discs so I could play offline. Great… Just what I needed. Another distraction from homework.

The boy comes home this morning. He said he’ll be home around 2 or 3 am. I can’t wait to have his arms around me again. Unfortunately I won’t see him till tomorrow afternoon. I am finally going for that minor surgery. The original date had been in October, but it was moved to November. I hate going to the doctor, or dentist. So I’m pretty freaked out right now.

Everybody ditched me on Halloween. A whole bunch of us were going to go to a bar, but some people ended up working later than expected and some people just didn’t call. So I ended up watching Animal Planet and learned tons of new useless facts. IE: When the coral snake is threatened… it farts to distract it’s enemies. I sat there and watched this and thought, well gee, that’s something I will never ever forget. Oh, the wonders of television.

All right, I’m tired and I need to go to bed so I can worry about tomorrow.

word of the day: LAZY

Song: No Rain – Blind Melon
Quote: I’m not lazy. Now would my conjecture be more credible if I were standing? Perhaps, but we may never know. – Garfield

Alright, Metallica f’n rocked!!! We had great seats, we could see the entire stage… it was so f’n cool. They played some of my favorite songs… ones that weren’t released as videos… like The God That Failed.

So, let’s backtrack a little here. The boy and I went to Shocktoberfest on Thursday. Two haunted houses and a haunted hayride. One of the haunted houses was set up like a prison. Now, I don’t scare really easily and I wasn’t really scared here, but I did jump a few times. The best part about it was the attention to detail. There was so much stuff to see, skeletons everywhere, all kinds of props. Very cool.

Friday was of course Metallica, and like I said, that was awesome.

I got home from the concert a 2 am. Took a shower and promptly fell asleep. I had been up since 6 am Friday morning and I must have been more tired than I thought, because I didn’t even hear my phone when the boy text messaged me at 5 am Saturday morning. (He had just gotten out of work, 3rd shift.) I ended up sleeping until 11:30 which was nice because I haven’t slept that late in I don’t know how long. I shuffled around the house for a wee bit and then headed off to see the boy. We went shopping, I got two really nice sweaters and he got new jeans. We went back to his house to see who wanted to go to the Country Junction’s Fright night. Once again it was just the boy and I. Oh well, we still had fun. It was no where near as fun as Shocktoberfest, but it was still kinda cool. After country junction we went’ to see Crystal Roxx. Then we went back to his place for some shut eye.

This morning (11 am) we woke up, showered and went to Qmart. The Quakertown Market. We walked around for a while, ate, and went back to his house. We spent the rest of the day laying around watching TV. It was so nice doing nothing. It was like my body realized that it had an extra day off and it suddenly decided that it didn’t want to do a damn thing. I feel so lazy right now and I’m not going to do anything at all.

METALLICA

METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA METALLICA

procrastinating cucumber

Song: Creeps – Emily’s Toybox
Quote: I’m a cucumber, I’m a cucumber. Please don’t take me to the pickle farm.

Once again I am procrastinating. I’m sitting here supposedly doing my homework, but oh the things I can find that keep me from doing it. Like my blog. All summer I barely wrote in it. Now all of a sudden I’m finding reasons to blog. (today’s reason: I really felt the need to put “I’m a cucumber, I’m a cucumber. Please don’t take me to the pickle farm.” in here) I’m almost done with my homework. Really. I just have one more question on my last take home quiz and a few sketches to make. Besides it’s only midnight. I have plenty of time.

COUNTDOWN TO METALLICA: 43 HOURS

Shocktoberfest tomorrow. I think. It depends on what the boy wants to do and how much money he has. (see blog about the truck; sep 13th)
I realized tonight that it is almost five months since we’ve been together. How’d that happen? It seems like I just met him.

COUNTDOWN TO SEEING HAWKE: APX 64 HOURS

Alright, alright. I’m going to go finish my damn homework.

@$%@$%&*@!*$&!*$&%$@**&%

Song: If you could only see – Tonic
Quote: A high priestess of witchcraft, a jewish rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, “what is this, some kind of a joke?”

After much grumbling, yelling and creative cursing my car is fixed. Who knew you could string curse words together to make an entire sentence. Apparently my car engine is really tiny and not made for someone whose arms and hands are as big as the boys to work on. He also changed my oil.

Next Wednesday he is going on vacation with his family. He’ll be gone for five days. He invited me to go, but I would miss too many classes and too much work. I really can’t afford either. Luckily my friend Hawke will be here and I will hopefully be distracted enough not to miss him too much. Never thought that I would love someone so much that the thought of not seeing them for ten days makes my heart weep.

I have three take home tests due this week, one of them due tomorrow. I would like to get two of them done tonight. I guess I should get started on that.

adjustable wrenches and haunted libraries

Song: Somebody Told Me – The Killers
Quote: Working with a baby had it’s problems. But then I tried directing chickens. – Jim Henson

So, the car died on Thursday after my class. Luckily the boy was near… and awake and came to my rescue. He popped the hood, checked it out and decided my starter wasn’t working. He banged on it with a adjustable wrench and shazam… it started. I drove it to his place and then he and I hoped in the truck and headed to the auto parts store. Unfortunately the part won’t be in until Monday, so the boy sent me home with my very own adjustable wrench and the newly gained knowledge of what to hit. Hopefully the part comes in on Monday.
Tomorrow night, instead of going to the haunted woods with the boy and a large group of friends, I am working. Granted, it’s the haunted library tour and it’s usually fun, but I would have still enjoyed going to the woods.
Next Friday at this very moment I will be screaming my head off in New Jersey. Why will I be screaming you ask? Well I will be smack dab in the middle of a METALLICA concert. Yes, I said METALLICA!!!! Ha Ha… my dream of seeing them in concert is coming true. And the opening band is Godsmack… seriously people, how could this get any better? Well let me tell you. The very next day my best friend is coming to visit from Tennessee. I have not seen her in SIX years… yes Hawke it’s been SIX years.
What a great week it will be. Woo Hooo

Nerd Computer

I think I got the nerd version of Microsoft Word. The spell check recognizes the words Jedi and Gollum.

I love a parade!

Song: Fall to Pieces – Velvet Revolver
Quote: “What is love? Sometimes it’s just letting yourself be who and what you are, and letting the person you’re supposed to love be who and what he is, too.” - Incubus Dreams, Laurel K. Hamilton

So… it was just a moment of weakness. I had heard he was around again and the temptation to go see him was strong. But, thanks to the wisdom of Hawke’s one simple question “who would you rather be with” and my very quick response of “the boy” clarity was once again mine.

ANYWAY… On to more interesting news. Last night I was in a Halloween Parade. Actually in it. A few of the boy’s friends play in a band together and they asked the boy if they could use his truck and trailer to make a float for the parade. The boy drove the truck while the band played on the trailer. I sat in the truck bed with two other girls while a few other friends walked behind the trailer. We were all in costume (I was a witch of course) and we were throwing candy to the kids. It was so much fun. We had so much candy and we ran out before the end of the parade. So, near the end, I was just waving to the kids and the cute guys. LOL Couldn’t resist. Of course I had a lot of older men winking and waving at me… Yikes.

Then the boy and I went back to his house and I actually got a decent night sleep. It’s funny a month ago I blogged about how I couldn’t sleep with his arms around me. Now when I’m in his bed I can’t fall asleep without them. It’s things like that and all the small kisses, touches and gestures of affection that make me wonder why I even think about the past at all.

every now and then

I heard a song on the radio just yesterday
The same one you always asked me to play
And when the song was over
I wished they’d played it again
Yes I do think about you every now and then
I love my life and I’d never trade
Between what you and me had and the life I’ve made
He's here and He’s real, but you were too
And every once in awhile I think about you
I’ve been laying here all night listening to the rain
Talking to my heart trying to explain
Why sometimes I catch myself
Wondering what might have been
Yes I do think about you every now and then
Every now and then

Every year on my birthday when I would blow out the candles, every year for Christmas, and every time I wished on a star I would ask for the same thing. I wanted someone to be in love with; someone who would love me.

Today is my 27th birthday. I have nothing left to wish for.

So instead I am thankful to who ever put the boy in my life.
I am thankful for my friendship with Hawke… closer than any blood sister could be
Thankful for the love of my mother and brother
Thankful for my friends… who make life interesting

Thankful for everyday that I’ve had and will have on this earth.

weekly rambling

Song: Running Blind – Godsmack
Quote: I thought if I showed you I could fly, wouldn’t need anyone by my side, now I’m falling backward, with broken wings I know I’ll die

I got a rash last week; all over my face and neck. It ended right at the neckline of my shirt, so obviously something airborne got me. It’s gone, only lasted two days, but freaked me out.

Got a new computer program at the library. Now when we go to check out the books half of the barcodes on the books and patron cards don’t work and we have to manually put them into the system. Shouldn’t take to long… it’s only 40,000 books and who knows how many patrons.

I spent apx. 15 hours on homework last week, 18 hours in class, 35 hours at work, 33 hours of sleep and about 4 to 5 hours traveling back and forth to school. In theory that leaves me with 62 hours all to myself. I spent about 20 hours with the boy. So that leaves 42 hours. Where the hell did they go? I don’t remember not doing anything for long periods of time… so what did I do with all those hours? I want them back.

I need a vacation, someplace without computers or people.

Guess I should be doing my homework for tomorrow. Blah! I don’t feel like doing anymore homework.

I’ve got way too many Jon BonJovi song lyrics floating through my head. Here are some great lines:

Well my eyes have seen the horror of the coming of the flood I've driven deep the thorny crown into the soul of someone's son Still I'll look you in the eye 'cause I've believed in things I've thought And I'll die without regret for the wars I have fought.
- Miracle

Here’s what it is that I want writtenOn the gravestone where I'll lie Tell them it's just my bones that died there So save the tears they'll cry My spirit is still riding somewhere's in this night And it's these three words that come to me As I kiss this world good bye
- Never Say Die

No I don't claim to be a wiseman, a poet or a saint I'm just another man who's searching for a better way But my heart beats loud as thunder For the things that I believe Sometimes I wanna run for cover Sometimes I want to scream
- Bang a Drum

Rock America

Song: I Remember You – Skid Row
Quote: “There is much to learn, and you have no time.” – The Dark Crystal

For some odd reason, I downloaded the video for Skid Row’s “I remember you”. I don’t know why I did it, but just seeing the video sent me into an 80’s hair band revival. In the 80’s I wasn’t listening to Madonna or New Kids, I was listening to Skid Row, Poison, Motley Crue, Warrant and Whitesnake. Along with so many others of that genre. And now, here I sit reminiscing about that time period. Guys with long hair… oh what a weakness of mine. (as long as it’s clean and combed). Oh did I have a huge crush on Vince Neil.

“Here I go again”, “Up all night”, “Ballad of Jane”, “Once bitten twice shy”; they don’t make songs like that anymore. For those of you reading along, you know you’re a hair band geek if you know who sang “Easy Come, Easy Go” or “Edge of a Broken Heart”. (I know you know, Hawke). Ahhhh… the 80’s. Forever may they live on.
Shhhhh… if you listen quietly you can hear the hiss of an Aqua-net can somewhere in the distance.

On a side note… I have so much homework to do. Ugh, and I’m really not liking 3DS MAX. It’s hard to work with and way too complicated. If things keep going this way I may have to rethink my career goals. Just give me a damn paintbrush and a canvas please.

*** You are truly sick if you know who sang the song in my title ***

snoochie boochies

Movie: Jersey Girl
Song: American Girl – Tom Petty
Quote: May you ever find your way back to the Inn of the Last Home. - Dragonlance News #42 - Sept. 13, 2004

I saw Jersey Girl tonight and surprisingly I really liked it. When I first saw the previews I did NOT want to see this Bennifer tale. However I tried to have faith in the great Kevin Smith. The usual cast of Kevin Smith actors was there… Ben Affleck, Matt Damon and the one guy whose name I can’t remember now. lol And of course George Carlin. I was however missing Jay and Silent Bob. The movie was quite funny. Had me, the boy and the boys dad laughing out loud. I highly recommend this movie.

So Far Away

Song: Wicked Game – Chris Isaac
Quote: ‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open, and I don’t feel like I am strong enough, ‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome, and I don’t feel right when you’re gone away. – Broken, by Seether and Amy Lee

I hate his truck… I absolutely hate it. When I first met him, he drove a beat up Chevy lumina that he paid $100 for. And that was more than ok with me… I didn’t care what kind of car he drove. He worked 40 hours a week and I saw him all the time. Then he bought a $40,000 truck. He started working all these overtime hours to pay for it and I only got to see him every other day. Now he’s falling behind on his bills and he’s getting a second job. Now instead of seeing him every other day I’ll only get to see him, if I’m lucky, once or twice a week.
When my brother was looking to buy a new car, he did the same thing. He got a second part time job in addition to his full time job. And his ex girlfriend resented all the time he was spending away from her, just so that he could buy a car. And I really don’t want to be like that little bitch. (excuse the venom there, the bitch broke his heart) But I miss him so much when I don’t see him for a day. In my head I know that this isn’t so bad, I have tons of homework to do now that I’m back at school and this will give me time to do it, but my heart, my stupid little heart can’t imagine not seeing him as much as I have been.
Three months ago I couldn’t imagine feeling this way about anybody. I was independent and did whatever I felt like doing. But now here I am with my heart attached to someone and I don’t know what to do about it.

future songs and flying dreams

Song: Flying dreams – Jerry Goldsmith
Quote: Love is a four letter word, just like fuck and shit. It’s just something you gatta do. – Eddie Griffen

I was talking to my mom last night, about the future. I was saying that before I met the boy, my dating experiences were disastrous and I honestly felt that I was going to spend my life alone. So my future was all about “career” or at least focusing on something other than being with someone. Now that I’ve met the boy… it’s not that I’m loosing focus on my life, it’s just that now, even if things don’t work out with the boy, it is suddenly a possibility that I won’t be alone forever. And now my career goals seem more… flexible? I don’t know if that is the right word… ahh… I think I’m babbling.

Speaking of the boy… Yesterday I was hanging out with my brother and we were driving to go to dinner and we passed the boy riding the Harley. I hadn’t known he was out riding, but I saw a bunch of motorcycles and thought “wouldn’t it be funny if the boy was one of them” and there he was. He looked so damn sexy on that Harley. I’m babbling again. Think I’ll go… uh… do something…..


Dream by night…Wish by day…Love begins this way…Loving starts when open hearts…Touch and stay

Sleep for now…Dreaming’s how…Lovers lives are planned…Future songs and flying dreams…Hand in hand

Love it seems made flying dreams…So hearts could soar…Heaven sent these wings were meant…To prove once more…That love is the key

Ever strong our future song…To sing it must be free…And love is still the key…And love it seems…Made flying dreams…To bring you home to me

sick sick sick

Song: Immigrant Song – Led Zepplin
Quote: Springing up from his place in the back of the wagon, Flint shouted, “Look out!” and pummeled Tanis on the shoulder by way of emphasizing the danger. “Drive faster! Hurry! They’re coming closer!” Expecting to see no less than an army of minotaurs in hot pursuit, Tanis looked behind in alarm. “Too late!” Flint groaned, as the wagon was immediately surrounded by a party of about fifteen laughing kinder. – Brothers Majere


I’ve been sick for over a week now… it’s a long and… well not very interesting story. So I’ll keep it short. Got a fever on Wednesday 18th – nauseous and achy. I also got a really bad sinus headache that went down my neck and into my back. I of course tried to work through it and also tried to live through it. I didn’t really take a day off, so I was still sick by the weekend. Finally by Monday I stayed in bed for almost two days, but I was still nauseous. I kept getting sick to my stomach… I blamed everything from food poisoning, to a virus. My other thought was the new birth control pill that I’m on. But I’ve been on it for a while, so I really don’t think that was it. My mother thinks that it was all in my head. Gee thanks mom. But no matter what it was… I think I’m better now. All I ate for almost two weeks was toast, applesauce and bananas. Needless to say, I dropped a few pounds. Nothing like a good illness make the pants fit better.

Unfortunately I have no other stories, because I haven’t really done anything except be sick (and complain about being sick, according to my mother).

Oh, I saw the new Exorcist movie. Wow, was that freaky and violent. I had some interesting dreams after that one.

Best moment of the Olympics: When the Russian Gymnast Aleksei Nemov was scored unfairly by two judges and the audience booed for about ten minutes, until the scores were changed.

Enter Sandman

Song: Superstitious – Stevie Wonder
Quote: Don’t make me get my flying monkeys

I’ve been having a very hard time sleeping at the boy’s house. I’m not really used to sleeping with anybody and every time that he moves, I wake up. It doesn’t help that because of his third shift job, our sleeping schedules are way off. So the only day that I can really sleep at his house is on Saturday. I’ve tried a few times, but I either end up going home because I couldn’t fall asleep or I end up getting very little sleep because I keep waking up. This past Saturday he and I were laying on the couch watching Kill Bill 2. We started the movie about 12:30. About half way through the movie I fell asleep. Around 2:45 the movie was over so we went to his room where I actually fall sound asleep. At 4am his brother is yelling into the room that I left the dome light on in my car. He then asked if I wanted him to turn it off. (no, please leave it on so my battery is dead in the morning) Yes turn it off thank you. So, I once again fall back to sleep. At 5am the alarm goes off. When the boy set the alarm for 6am for me he also accidentally changed the time on the clock so that the clock was wrong. He fixed it and then I fell back to sleep. Finally 6am comes and the alarm goes off. I fall back to sleep for another 20 minutes and my cell phone alarm goes off. At this point I say “ok, I have to get up” and he rolls over and puts his arm around me. That so didn’t help me in wanting to get out of bed. So after another five minutes of being in his arms, I get out of bed and make my way to work. It figures that the one night I probably could have slept through the night, I get woken up every hour anyway. Yeash

movies movies movies

Movie: Alien vs Predator
Song: For Love – Emily’s Toybox
Quote: We could get along better, if you would just stop hitting me. All in all it was all in the name of love.

Ok, so what have I been up to? Hmmmm… nothing terribly exciting. I’ve just been enjoying my summer vacation; spending time with the boy. I’ve seen tons of movies. I’ve seen “the Village”, “the Bourne Supremicy”, “I Robot”, “Harry Potter”, and “Alien vs Predator”. I liked all of them, but none of them were amazing. Actually I was pretty disappointed in Harry Potter and the Village. HP didn’t live up to the book (I’m a huge fan of the books) and the Village wasn’t scary at all. I was really hoping it would be.

I want a new vehicle. I want a jeep wrangler, soft top. I love my tracker, but it’s getting old and worn and I was looking at the shiny new jeeps at the dealership and suddenly I wanted something new and shiny. It doesn’t help that the boy has been letting me drive his new truck. It puts my tracker to shame. Granted, any jeep I get won’t have a turbo diesel like his truck, but anything has to go faster than mine. I’ve joked with him that instead of horse power, my car is run by four little mice on a spinning wheel and every time that I hit the gas they go “yeah right”. Of course his truck has a governor on it that only lets it go 97 mph. (only). So when I hit the gas I get “yeah right” and when he hits the gas and gets to 97 his engine goes “whoa! No way”.

We’re off to see the… Teutuls?

Song: Youth of the Nation – P.O.D.
Quote: Tact is for people who are not witty enough to be sarcastic

ROAD TRIP!!! Yes, myself, the boy, and two friends are off to NY to see the Orange County Choppers Store. We’re all big fans of the show, and the motorcycles so it should be interesting. Hopefully we don’t get lost. LOL I have three DIFFERENT sets of directions from mapquest, yahoo maps and msn maps. I’ll be driving a little bit of the way, but there will have to be a navigator for me, being that I can get lost in a paper bag. (no joke).

Last Saturday the boy and I went for a motorcycle ride through NY, along the Delaware River with his parents and some of their Harley friends. The boy and I didn’t exactly fit with the group since we were on a rice burner; believe me I would have rather been on a Harley, but we still had fun. The best part was that because it was raining Friday night, and because it was supposed to rain all weekend, his parents didn’t take the Harley up to the Poconos, where we were all going to meet up, figuring the trip was canceled. But Saturday morning when it was beautiful out the boy’s parents called him to bring the Harley up to them. He put both bikes on a trailer and was going to drive them both up. We were on our way when he saw the trailer tire was smoking; the Harley was too heavy for the trailer. He gets out, looks at it and says, I’ll drive the Harley up and you drive the truck. Keep in mind this truck is huge – a brand new (four weeks old) GMC duramax diesel engine truck with extended cab and extended bed that now had a trailer behind it. I had only driven his truck three times before this and I have never driven anything with a trailer behind it, so I was like… “uh, it’s really sweet that you have enough faith in me to drive this, but I think your faith is a little misplaced”. He told me I would be fine, and amazingly I was. I made it up there in one piece. Also drove it back that night because he had been awake since 11:30 am the previous day and he was almost asleep on his feet. However we had a great time driving through NY. It was absolutely beautiful out.
Good Times

I'm the Bomb

Book: Ten Big Ones – Janet Evanovich
Song: I’m the Bomb – Emily’s Toybox
Quote:  Maybe it had something to do with being a sociopath; if so, let’s hear it for dementia. – Narcissus in Chains by Laurel K.Hamilton
 
Just recently finished Ten Big Ones, by Janet Evanovitch, it was, of course, really good.  Very funny as always… I can’t wait for Stephanie to find the bat cave.  LOL Now I’m onto R is for Ricochet by Sue Grafton.  So far it’s been a really good time for me as far as my favorite authors.  Next month I have a new Laurel K. Hamilton and then the month after that is a new Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child book.  (I could have those reversed but hey… who cares).
I have a new band, actually the boy introduced me to this one.  Emily’s Toybox, I’ve seen them twice and had tons of fun both times.  I’m really digging their songs “I’m the Bomb” and “Back of the Bus” – “we’re the kids in the back, talking trash in the back of the bus. Come and join us!”
I saw the most interesting thing today.  I went for a walk in the park and usually I see people walking around the park with their keys or their phone in their hands as they get their daily exercise.  Well, today, in front of me a woman was power walking and in her hand she had her pack of cigarettes.  Uh… huh?  Doesn’t this seem a little wrong… I don’t know maybe it’s just me.

Back From the Dead

Song: Broken – Seether and Amy Lee
Quote: Satan! Satan! It’s the megafurnace! She’s losin’ power and the temperature is dropping fast! I’m not sure if I can hold her! – Scotty in Hell

Greetings and Salivations.

Wow… It’s been a long time. I guess time really does fly when your having fun.

Nothing much has changed. I’m in love and having the time of my life. I’ve spent so much time with the boy lately. Tomorrow we are going to Cabellas. I’ve never been there, so it should be interesting. He took me to New Hope NJ and we had a great time. It’s so odd. I get up early to go sleep at his house with him.

In other news: My friend who got fired fought the company when they refused her unemployment and she won. Ummm… Schools over and I’ve finally got some sleep. I think I work in the noisiest library in the world. I’ve seen Crystal Roxx a lot, finally saw Emily’s Toybox. The boy loves them, I thought they were pretty cool. They played some old Metallica, Creeping Death. Impressed me with that one. Usually everybody plays Enter Sandman or One. Speaking of which… YAHOOOOOO…. I’m going to see Metallica in October…. WOOOO HOOOO. Can’t wait.

I’m watching the “I Love the 90s” on VH1. Right now they are on Xena and Hercules. How much did I love Xena. God I was addicted to that show. On that note… I’m tired… going to sleep.

Why don't you get things started?

Song: The Muppet Show theme
Quote: But every so often I’ll have moments when just being myself, in my life, right where I am is enough. – Angela, My So Called Life

I swore that I would never turn into that friend who disappears as soon as she gets into a relationship. And up until now, I never was. But right now I’m having a really hard time balancing a new relationship with school and work and friends. Unfortunately, it’s my friends that I am sacrificing. I know that most of them understand, because they have been there, but I also know that there are at least two who don’t. I hope that once school is over I can tend to these rifts that I am making before they get to deep to do anything about. If it weren’t for that one worry, my life would be perfect right now. Except of course for the extreme loss of sleep, but I can deal with that.
On to more lighthearted news:
The boy and I went to a foam party on Saturday. Well, actually we went to see a band and there just happened to be a foam party there. It was so much fun. We danced in the foam and when it got over our heads and no one could see us… lol… we had a lot of fun. The foam smelled like grape and he and I got soaked; our clothes, our shoes, everything. Then we got into my car and made my car smell like grape. My shoes still smell grapy. I hope the bar that we went to posts the picture that somebody took of us. We had just gotten out of the foam and were covered in bubbles. Should be cute.

Enter Sandman

Song: Falls on Me – Fuel
Quote: There is much to learn, and you have no time. – The Dark Crystal

I’m so tired. I can’t wait for summer classes to be over. Then maybe I can get some sleep. I have less than two weeks left and I have four papers to write and I don’t know how many animation projects to do. Then there is also a final for the one class. Good grief… don’t think I’ll make it. The only thing I want to do is sleep. I swear when classes are over I’m going to take a whole day just for sleeping. Maybe a few days for sleeping, and then a few more for watching movies.
All right… I have homework to do. Ugh

Falls on me

Song: Brand New Fool - Elvis
Quote: Not paying attention, and isn’t that when they get you? Men, I mean. – From a Buick 8 – Stephen King

Good grief! How did this happen? There’s a good looking, 6 foot, blond man attached to my hip.
There was a moment of worry there, an x-girlfriend interfering, but after some reassurances, I know it’s me that he wants.
I could gush all about him and how he held my hand all through the movie, or how he came to see me in between my classes, just because he wanted to, or how he asked me to call him to let him know I got home safe “because it was raining pretty hard”, but I won’t.
On a funny note, he and I went for a motorcycle ride with his buddy and both he and his buddy decided that my ass looks great on the back of a motorcycle. LOL (they also said it looked good off the bike too)

Ok… I’m going to end this with all the dumb romantic songs that have been floating around in my brain lately

This Moment – Melissa Etheridge
I Could Not Ask For More – Edwin McCain
Honey Don’t Think – Grant Lee Buffalo
8th World Wonder – Kimberly Locke
Falls On Me – Fuel
Think About Love – Dolly Parton
Crash Into Me – Dave Matthews Band
The Red Strokes – Garth Brooks

Wish List

1. Drawing Tablet for computer
2. Digital Camera
3. New speakers for car stereo
4. Sleep

(wow... these colors look terrible... they don't look this bad on my home computer. Time to hit the template again.)

It's only been a week but...

Song: 8th World Wonder – Kimberly Locke
Quote: Among the many things it meant was that even to loneliness there is an end, for those who are lonely enough, long enough. – Theodore Sturgeon, A saucer of Loneliness

It has been quite some time since I blogged. I’ve been so busy lately. I’ve always said that I didn’t have time for a boyfriend. Well, not only did I get myself a boyfriend, I got one who works third shift. I think I just like to make things difficult for myself. LOL But he’s wonderful. He thinks I’m beautiful and tough. And he holds my hand while he drives. He sits me on his lap in public and holds me. I love kissing him, and he can’t get enough of me either. He takes me for rides on his motorcycle and on Thursday he took me up to Jim Thorpe to go hiking, so that I could see the waterfalls up there. I’ve never done anything like that before.
The way our schedules are, there are some days where I can only see him for a few hours, and it looks like the only way I will see him on Tuesdays and Wednesdays is if one of us visits the other while s/he is at work. It doesn’t matter though.
It astounds me that I only met him a little over a week ago. It just seems like I’ve known him forever; I’m so comfortable around him. I was content and happy with my life before he came along. And now, I’m really happy. In his words: “bonus”.

Honey don't think

Song: Flying Dreams – Jerry Goldsmith
Quote: Dream by night, wish by day, love begins this way. Loving starts when open hearts touch and stay.

I’m so very happy. I feel like jumping around and dancing. My head is telling me to slow down, my heart has already leaped. He called me Sunday night and we went for a motorcycle ride, we watched a movie with his friends and then we drove around for a while and ended up in his car parked outside his house. We talked and then he kissed me. We did a lot of kissing and then we watched the sun come up in his car. LOL Tonight I went to where he works and spent his lunch break with him. He says and does things that just make me smile. The more I look at him, the cuter he gets. I’m so very happy.

Wooo Hoooo

Song: So Far Away – Stained
Quote: I’m so afraid of waking… please don't shake me… afraid of waking… please don't shake me


I met a guy! I met a guy! I met a guy! Te he, I’m so happy. He’s so my type, and he actually seems interested in me! I met him last night at a bar. Friend of a friend, non-smoker, non-drinker, blond, blue eyes, scruffy looking, very cute, funny, polite, intelligent, loves motorcycles and Metallica and Crystal Roxx.
Woo woo woo!
We’ll see what happens… but I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

Daily Horoscope May 30, 2004
Quickie:
Look at you, you big flirt. Today you'll discover your advances being reciprocated.

Overview:
You've probably got a nice, warm emotional buzz going. It won't be going anywhere for a while. Share it. You know what they say about how it all comes back ....

Mmm Bop... not

Song: Sober – Tool
Quote: I am just a worthless liar. I am just an imbecile. I will only complicate you. Trust in me and fall as well. I will find a center in you. I will chew it up and leave. Trust me. Trust me.

Somehow I got roped into seeing Hanson and Nelly Fertado tonight. Definitely not my musical preferences. However, Hanson was not that bad. Those little brats… I mean those guys actually have some talent, they played and sang really well. If I pretended that I didn’t know they were Hanson, I kinda enjoyed it. But Nelly, yea, I could have lived without seeing her. Rather annoying she was.

My horoscope:
Daily Overview for May 29, 2004
Quickie:
It's the weekend. You're exhausted. Sometimes the best plans are no plans at all.

Overview:
Talk about charming -- you'll be able to convince darned near anyone of darned near anything. What do you do with this? Whatever you like. You're driving, and that's that!

check list

Song: Rainbow Connection
Quote: I thought it would be faster if we traveled by tape edit. – Jim Henson

Three cheers for procrastination… never mind… we’ll do it later.

There are so many things I should be doing right now. I just don’t feel like doing any of them. I don’t really feel like doing anything.
List of things I should do:
1. My homework for my 3ds max class.
2. Read Chapter 5 for my 3ds max class.
3. My advertisement analysis for my technical English class.
4. Clean my room. (a never ending quest)
5. Cut my hair. It’s a wee bit long in the front.
6. Start working on filling a brand new sketchbook.

Think I’ll just go to bed.

beyond thunderdome

Song: We Don’t Need Another Hero – Tina Turner
Quote: This isn’t a funk, it’s my personality. – Jen, Dawson’s Creek

Please ignore the fact that today’s quote is from :::gulp::: Dawson’s Creek. There was a time that I was addicted to cheesy teen dramas. I got over it, but I still love that quote. Oh, and the whole Tina Turner thing… I don’t know, for some reason that song just popped into my head.

It has been brought to my attention that I apparently walk around with a scowl on my face. Now, I didn’t think I was scowling, I certainly don’t intend to be scowling. I just have a lot on my mind, and I would think people would recognize it as a look of deep concentration. Or at least that’s what I’m telling them. It’s not my fault that people continually piss me off. Ever hear the expression “everyday I’m forced to add another name to the list of people that have pissed me off”? Yea, that’s me. I have also been told that I’m aggressive and intimidating. And here I thought I was a sweet pussycat. :::rolls eyes dramatically:::

Mmm, new Hershey kisses with caramel. Mmmm.

I just got my credit card bills. I put my summer tuition and books on them. Eeek. I also have about $200 worth of gas on them. The list of things I need for school is adding up. Computer programs, external hard drive, along with the usual tuition and book fees. I also need to get my car fixed and I need money for the wee operation I’m going to have (I think my deductible is really high). I really need to win the lottery. Of course I need to PLAY the lottery in order to WIN the lottery. Technicalities.

Found out today that my cutie teacher likes the same movies I do. Ended up talking to him for about half an hour about movies and books and such. --- I’m not going to fall for another impossible guy. For all I know, he’s gay.

A friend of mine jokingly told me that since the whole band guy thing doesn’t seem to be working out for me, I should move on to Harley guys. My mom would LOVE that.

Things are changing

Song: Harder to Breathe – Maroon 5
Quote: ‘Tis no sin not to be Irish… Just a terrible, terrible shame.

So, I changed the colors. I was really sick of all the gray. I haven’t been in that mood for a little while. I know the picture on top doesn’t exactly go with the background (since it’s still in black and white) but I like the contents of the picture. I keep thinking I should take the time to draw something of my own to put up there… I just don’t seem to have the time.

I just bought Lord of the Rings Return of the King. Add that to the list of movies I’ve bought and haven’t had the chance to watch yet. That list includes X2, Underworld, Master and Commander and Pirates of the Caribbean. After my summer classes, I’m going to take an entire day to watch movies.

eek... i was reading a blog with white writing and a black background... now my eyes are all screwy and I'm seeing white lines everywhere.
Random thought: Every once in a while I think about the fact that if I were to get stranded on an island, I probably wouldn’t live very long, due to the fact that, without my contacts, I can barely see. And since I don’t carry my glasses with me anywhere I go, I’d be screwed. I think if I ever go on a cruise I will make sure to carry my glasses with me at all times. (Does anybody else think about these kinds of things?)

I’ve noticed that I barely turn on the TV anymore. There used to be a time when it was always on, now it’s never on. I will usually have music playing, but lately even that has been bugging me. Peace and quiet. :::sigh:::

All right, I’ve got things to do before I go to bed. I’ve wasted to much time as it is.

Just do it

Song: Head like a Hole - NIN
Quote: Be wary of wousing a wrizards wrath… rousing a rizards … rous… Be wary of making a magician angry! – Schmendrick, The Last Unicorn (movie)

Spent all day at school trying to learn. It’s very hard to concentrate in class when I’m looking at my teacher’s muscley arms and cute ass.

My brain is turning to mush, once again. I’m sitting here trying to think, and it’s just not working for me. I had quite a few thoughts that I wanted to put down here, and now I can’t remember a single one. I feel I should apologize for my lack luster writing in this blog. So I leave you with this amazing quote. It’s from a Nike ad, from sometime in the 80s. It’s a wee long… but being the tomboy I always was… I love it.

Did you ever wish you were a boy?
Did you? Did you for one moment or one breath or one heartbeat beating over all the years of your life, wish, even a little, that you could spend it as a boy? Honest. Really. Even if you got over it.
Did you ever wish that you could be a boy jus so you could do boy things and not hear them called boy things, did you want to climb trees and skin knees and be third base and not hear the boys say, Sure, play, but that means you have to be third base.
Oh ha ha ha.
But did you ever wish you were a boy just because there were boys, and there were girls and they were them, and we were, well, we weren’t them, and we knew there must be a difference because everybody kept telling us there was. But what was it?
You never knew. Like you knew that you were a girl (you run like a girl you throw like a girl you girl you) and that was great, that was swell, but you couldn’t help wondering what it would be like if you had been… a boy.
And if you could have been a boy, what difference would it have made? Would it have made you faster, cuter, cleaner? And if you were a boy, this incredibly bouncing boy, what boy would you have been? All the time knowing no two boys are alike any more than all girls are.
So you wake up. And you learn we all have differences (Yes!) You learn we all have similarities (Right!) You learn to sop lumping everybody in the world into two separate categories, or three, or four, or any at all (Finally!) And you learn to stop beating yourself over the head for things that weren’t
wrong in the first place.
And one day when you’re out in the world running, feet flying dogs barking smiles grinning, you’ll hear those immortal words calling, calling inside your head Oh you run like a girl
and you will say shout scream whisper call back Yes. What exactly did you think I was?

there's no place like home...

OMG... I almost had heart failure... I thought I lost all of my posts. I was trying to change everything and blam! I couldn't get my posts to show up when I republished. Luckily I saved the script. From now on, it's changing colors and changing pictures for me and that's it... well maybe...

Rockin'

Song: Cold Hard Bitch – Jet
Movie: The Breakfast Club (Who doesn’t love this movie?)
Quote: We’re all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that’s all. – The Breakfast Club

The explosion that I feared did not happen. I went to see Crystal Roxx last night and so did all of my friends. (The ones mentioned in my May 7th blog). – Well, all but one. The nice thing was that I didn’t have to shuffle my way around the bar, trying to hang out with each of them. We all stood close together; everybody talked to me, but they all ignored each other. Actually it was kinda weird. But I still had a lot of fun. Crystal Roxx was awesome, once again. Started the first set off with Prayer by Disturbed and rocked the rest of the night.

However…
My thoughts on being completely drunk in public:

I think getting totally shit-faced in public is asinine. Even though I don’t drink, I can understand wanting to “loosen up” by having a few drinks. However, when you get so drunk that you can barely stand, there is something wrong there. Last night (and this isn’t the first time I’ve seen this) a bunch of girls got really drunk and got on stage with the band. The alcohol running through their veins apparently made them believe they were really sexy… and they were far from it. Believe me, I think I’m pretty damn cute, but I’m not the skinniest chick there is, so I know better than to be wearing a tight belly t-shirt that shows off my extra weight. I also don’t wear a skirt short enough to see what the moon looks like. Obviously there are girls out there who don’t feel the same as I do. You mix them with a whole bunch of alcohol and a band and you end up with a bunch of ugly chicks dancing like sluts on the stage. Granted, I have been known to get up on stage and dance with the band, but I’m fully clothed, I remain that way and I don’t dance so close to a band member that I can tell what religion he is. I think it’s a matter of respecting yourself. You get that drunk and you end up doing crap you’re going to regret. The sober people around you don’t think you’re funny; they just think you’re an ass. My advice, next time, cut back on the drinks; stay on the floor and just enjoy the music.

Friend

Song: Light of a Clear Blue Morning – Dolly Parton
Quote: Among the many things in meant was that even to loneliness there is an end, for those who are lonely enough, long enough. – A Saucer of Loneliness by Theodore Sturgeon

If nothing else, I am grateful for true friendship. It has not been a very good week, from my sketchbooks being stolen to “what’s your name again?” Today I was feeling rather down, so at lunch I gave Hawke a call. She commiserated with me about dumb bass players and filthy thieves. And then we got to talking about yarn and knitting. And for some odd reason, it was just what I needed. I don’t know how, but she always knows what to say. This is not the first time I have called her in a miserable state and every time, she makes me feel better. I’ve called her crying and she’s made me laugh. And today… she made me see the sunshine.
So, even though I no longer have my sketchbooks… I still have the ability to draw. And even though I don’t have my bass player… I still have the memory of an amazing kiss.
And best of all, no matter what happens… I have an amazing friend.
Love you Hawke

So much for that

Song: One Thing – Finger Eleven
Quote: Dreams die hard and you hold them in your hand long after they’ve turned to dust. – Bowen, Dragonheart

I went to see my bass player tonight. I wish I hadn’t. I got a kiss on the cheek and a “what’s your name again?” Guess I kinda figured that would happen. Chalk this up to another learning experience I guess. This was the first time I ever made the first move. Even though it didn’t work out, at least now… aww hell. I really don’t feel like rationalizing this right now. I’m not upset, but I’m still disappointed. I don’t know what I wanted, or what I expected. But I know damn sure I didn’t want “what’s your name again?” Wish I hadn’t gone, then my last memory would be of him kissing me. Damn damn damn!

Bad Week

Song: Hero of the Day – Metallica
Quote: Still the window burns… Time so slowly turns… And someone there is sighing… Keepers of the flames… Can’t you hear your name? Can't you hear your babies crying?

My sketchbooks were stolen. Ten years of work and it's all gone. I can’t understand why anybody would take them. There was nothing really important in there. They were just studies. There weren’t even any real ideas in there, it was more sentimental than anything else. I’m so depressed. There were sketches of when I lived with Hawke in Athens. Tons of celtic patterns, dragons, studies of animals and the human skeleton… ugh. Damn whoever took them. I hope karma comes and knocks them on their ass.

For the past two nights I’ve had to deal with the same damn annoying patron. He’s got long greasy hair, wears the same clothes EVERY day and had a stench that leaves a trail as he walks. I swear I saw fleas jumping off of him yelling “save yourself!” He has a fine of over ten dollars and swears that we lied to him. Everybody in the library knows who he is and he annoys the hell out of them. Yesterday I literally had to throw him out at closing time. Oy

Tomorrow I have to go to the doctor. I have a lump on my head, and it’s been growing. It’s not anything to worry about; my mom calls them cheese tumors. Don’t know where she got that name, but the women in my family always get them, and they turn out to be nothing. But, I want to have this one removed before it gets any bigger. I’m not going for the surgery tomorrow; I’m just going to my family doctor to see where he says that I should go to have it done. At the thought of the surgery, I get all freaked. I’m an incredible wuss when it comes to anything medical. Plus they will have to shave a small part of my head. Since the lump is right in front about an inch from my hairline, it will be noticeable. Luckily I have so much hair that I should be able to pull it back and no one will notice until it grows back. Plus my hair grows really fast.

On a high note, I made an awesome friend in class. She’s way cool, hopefully she’ll turn out to be a long term friend.

Warning: I’m considering rearranging my blog… if I can find the time between class and work.

too old for this

Song: Believe – Disturbed
Quote: "These blue eyes gave nothing, expected nothing. They held too much knowledge. They had seen too much… too much sorrow, too much pain. They had looked beneath the bed and discovered that there really were monsters lurking in the shadows." – Soulforge(?) by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman

Went to see Crystal Roxx last night. Had a great time as always. However, they were at the Silo in Reading, so it was quite a drive. I didn’t get home until 3 am. Then I was back up at 6 for work this morning. Ok, I didn’t actually get up at six, I kept hitting the snooze button until quarter of seven. But who is counting? I drove my friend home last night and she gets cold really quick, so I had the windows up. It was wet and muggy and I already had a really bad sinus headache. So by the time I got home, I was so car sick. I staggered into the house, took a shower and fell into bed. I was so happy I had some Advil sinus. I had to take another dose this morning, because I still had remnants of the headache. Once again this morning as I struggled to get dressed, I had thoughts of I’m getting to old for this. But, I’ll be back at it next Saturday.

Went out to see the PPV tonight. We had a really small group tonight, but we still had a lot of fun. And the Pay per view was actually interesting. I just love the Undertaker. He’s so damn cool. John Cena looked good – as always. And Eddie Guerra was bleeding like a stuck pig. All the necessary ingredients to a good PPV

Ugh, I have to go back to school tomorrow. Between work and school, it will be six whole weeks until I have a day off. I need a vacation.

Hot in Here

Song: Mr. Brownstone – Guns ‘n’ Roses
Quote: Satan! Satan! It’s the mega-furnace! She’s losin’ power and the temperature is dropping fast! I’m not sure if I can hold her! – Scotty in Hell

Saw a t-shirt in the mall the said “Talk nerdy to me”. Made me giggle.

All winter long people can’t wait for summer and hot weather; just so they can stay indoors, turn on the air conditioning and complain about the heat.

I realized yesterday that I only had one week off from school and that summer classes start Monday. Damn! Today I went out to the school to pick up my books, and one of them still wasn’t in. I got the bill for my fall tuition, and I hope that I can afford to pay for it.

Yesterday, I went to the mall to buy some clothes. I wanted pants… full length pants. Nobody had them. All anybody had was capries. Short people do not look good in those things. Well nobody really looks good in those things. I finally found two pairs at Aeropostle. Then I bought a whole bunch of tank tops

Spent the whole day driving around with the top back on my car. I think I have sunburn on my shoulders. I’m on my way to a very cool looking farmer’s tan. Yippie.

Power Wolves

Song: Take This Job and Shove It – Johnny Paycheck
Quote: Apathy their stepping stone… So unfeeling… Hidden deep animosity… So deceiving… Through your eyes their light burns… Hoping to find… Inquisition sinking you… With prying minds… Justice is lost… Justice is raped… Justice is gone… Pulling your strings… Justice is done… Seeking no truth… Winning is all… Find it so grim… So true… So real - …And Justice for All by Metallica


So the dumb ass company that I work for fired my friend. Top 100 companies to work for, my ass. They set her up and people lied. And what can I do about it? Nothing. I’m a part time nobody who needs my job. I need the scholarship and my 401k. As for the scholarship, what a joke that is. You need to jump through hoops in order to get it, and then when you do. They pay only 50% of the “pure” tuition fees. “Pure” does not include lab fees or technology fees. And God forbid they offer any money for books. I can name two companies right now that offer full reimbursement for tuition and books, just so long as your GPA is a C or better. So why aren’t I working for them you ask? By the time I would be there long enough to qualify for the scholarship, I would (hopefully) be done with school. I’m not saying that the company itself is totally bad, but at my store, it’s a freaking war zone. You have to keep your head down to make sure you don’t get hit by the shrapnel, and have eyes in the back of your head to watch for somebody trying to put a knife in your back. I can’t wait till I can get out of there.

Ramble ramble ramble

Song: Shout 2000 - Disturbed
Quote: He didn’t seem to think it was funny. A lot of people don’t get my jokes. If I was less secure, I’d think my jokes weren’t funny. – Guilty Pleasures by Laurell K. Hamilton

I drove past a cemetery with a billboard sign in it, advertising personal storage. (no joke)

Lately I’ve taken to saying “greetings and salivations” in hopes that I would get some strange looks or a laugh. Odd thing is… nobody has said a word. Now, do they just think I’m an idiot who doesn’t know what I’m saying and pretending not to notice, or are they the idiots for not realizing. Or maybe it’s just not funny. Huh… must be that they are the idiots.

Song that doesn’t make sense: Sister Christian by Night Ranger: "Motoring… What's your price for flight… You've got him in your sight… And driving thru the night" …What in the blue hell does that mean? Who writes this stuff?

Bill Clinton has written a book called "my life". …Who cares? Does anybody really believe that he’s going to tell the world the truth in this book when he lied to us before?

How do stupid people function in their own lives? Who puts up with these people? I run into complete idiots during both of my jobs and I work with people that I can barely stand to be around for the few hours that I have to be with them. I can’t fathom having to go through life with them. I often wonder if the laws of nature (survival of the fittest) prevailed in current times, how many of these people would have made it this far?

Just when you think your life is tough, someone tells you their tragic story, and makes you realize it could be worse.

Just watching Paul Sr. of Orange County Choppers makes me think my dad’s not so bad.

Done… for now.

just for one thing

Song: One Thing – Finger Eleven
Quote: I’ve never met anyone who wishes they didn’t have a second chance at something. – Sylvester Stallone

If we could go back and change things in our lives, would we? If we knew the outcome of the way things were going to be, would we change them? And how many opportunities have we missed unknowingly?

Restless tonight... Cause I wasted the light… Between both these times… I drew a really thin line… It’s nothing I planned… And not that I can… But you should be mine… Across that line

If I traded it all… If I gave it all away for one thing… Just for one thing… If I sorted it out… If I knew all about this one thing… Wouldn’t that be something

I promise I might… Not walk on by… Maybe next time… But not this time

Even though I know… I don’t want to know… Yeah I guess I know… I just hate how it sounds

Future Songs

Song: Flying Dreams – Jerry Goldsmith
Quote: All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone to make us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere and somehow there is someone searching for us. – The Wonder Years

It’s always surreal driving around this city late at night. They don’t exactly roll up the streets when the sun goes down, but they probably could and not too many people would notice. You drive around looking for signs of life in a place that, during the day is so full of activity and noise. Every once in a while you come across other cars driving around. You look at them and wonder what it is that has them out so late at night. However, travel five minutes out of town, and it’s a different world. There are no signs of life, especially on a Sunday night. Even on the major highways you only find one or two trucks making there way to God knows where. Driving around at time like that can be soothing, or very odd. Sometimes it’s haunting thinking of all of those people safe and sound in their houses, passing the time in deep slumber; knowing that time is moving differently for them than it is for you. It becomes almost a mindless thing, traveling roads you know so well. Your mind clears of worries, your concentration unstrained for lack of other cars. And you’re just left to thought. Thoughts about whatever comes to your brain. How very… freeing.

Shades of Gray

So, I changed the colors and picture of my blog. It’s very gray. Is this a commentary on my mood as of late, or is it that I’m just bored with all those colors? Who knows. For right now, I kinda like it. Looks like an old black and white movie here. We’ll see how long this lasts.

Six Degrees of Confusion

Song: Demon Called Deception – Grant Lee Buffalo
Quote: “I have a very bad feeling about this.” - Luke Skywalker, Star Wars

The story here is true… The names have been changed to protect… well… me actually.

My friend Sara is currently dating Bob. She got to know Bob because we became friends with his friends Joe and Jill. Joe and Jill are a couple. Before Sara dated Bob, she was dating Bill. She and I met Bill at another concert. I liked Bill, but it didn’t work out between Sara and Bill. In between Bill and Bob, Sara dated Ed, who she met at a concert. Sara and Ed didn’t work out either. So then she started dating Bob. Jill and Joe are friends with Ed and Jill works with Bill's friend Sue. Still with me? Maybe I should make a chart or something. Now here is where it gets really interesting. When Sara started dating Bob, they (Sara and Bob) had a fight with Jill and Joe. That same night, Sara had a fight with Sue (Bill’s friend). So, Sara and Bob don’t hang out with Jill and Joe and Sara won’t talk or be around Bill and Sue. What sucks is that I still like Joe, Jill and Bill. I’ve been hanging out with Joe and Jill and Bill and Sue. Sara has been really busy lately so she and I haven’t hung out in a while. And as of right now, none of these people have run into Sara anywhere. But I know a few weeks from now, we are all planning on seeing the same concert. I had plans to go with Jill and Joe, but Sare called me tonight and told me that she was planning on going too. I know for a fact that Sue is still mad at Sara. As far as I know, Jill, Joe, Bill and Sue are all cool with each other, and with me. The only problem is Sara, and for as much as I love Sara, I’m annoyed that she caused all this confusion. If they all end up going, it should be interesting. I just hope it doesn’t all slingshot back to me somehow. I think I’ll just stand by myself and let everyone come to me. Ugh… friends are a pain in the ass.

My dear sis Hawke is currently on her way to the beach with her family. I wish I could go too. ::: sigh::: what I wouldn’t do for a few relaxing days on the beach. Just standing in the ocean for hours with nothing to worry about. Collecting sea shells and building sand castles with her little munchkin. Sounds perfect to me.

Random (and I mean RANDOM) thoughts

Song: Bodies – Drowning Pool
Movie: Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Quote: “I never know,” Harry called to Hagrid over the noise of the cart, “what’s the difference between a stalagmite and a stalactite?” “Stalagmite’s got an ‘M’ in it,” said Hagrid. – Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone by J K Rowling

Ok, alright already. I will do my take home test that is due tomorrow. I will do my take home test that is due tomorrow. Ugh. I’m so sick of school. I had my last Media Script writing class tonight. Yippee. One down and two to go. Then two whole weeks of nothing. -- Nothing? Nothing tra la la? Yes Jareth, nothing. -- I am not going to do a damn thing except watch movies and sleep. And go see Crystal Roxx of course... and maybe my hottie bass player.

I can’t get my brain to focus on anything. My mind keeps wandering. I’m even having a hard time concentrating on this blog.

I just lit a candle. I had the urge to make my room smell of spiced pumpkin. Not sure why. Speaking of smells, thank goodness for Theirry Mugler. I have been wearing Angel perfume for a few months now and I love it. I’m a highly allergenic person and I’ve never been able to wear perfume before because anytime I tried to wear any, I always gave myself a headache. But this perfume is made from chocolate and patchouli. There isn’t one hint of a floral scent, so it doesn’t bother me at all.

I was watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail right before this. What an incredibly funny movie. I’ve seen it before, but every time I watch it, I still find it humorous. Every line from it belongs on a t-shirt or bumper sticker. Hawke’s favorite: On second thought, let us not go to Camelot. It is a silly place. I personally love the knights who say Ne… or echy echy fidang.

Whatever. I have a test to take. I better go do that before I fall asleep at my desk. --- I will do my take home test that is due tomorrow. I will do my take home test that is due tomorrow.
Peace out